


Catherine's Worth

by Pargertwo



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3216503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pargertwo/pseuds/Pargertwo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My perspective on Catherine's possible reasons for not returning to Hawaii.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catherine's Worth

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something that's been in my head since Catherine didn't return from Afghanistan and it got a little more persistent after Steve's conversation with Aunt Deb. It's my very first fanfiction anywhere, so please don't be too harsh.

Catherine hung up the phone and wiped the tears from her eyes. She felt terribly sad about letting go of her past, but it was really her past now. Ever since she had resigned her commission and left the Navy she had felt adrift and like she wasn’t doing what she was meant to do. 

In the Navy she had a purpose, she had direction, and she had a focus. She was also damn good at her job and a valued asset. After she left, she had Steve and she had Billy and she had her new job with Billy. Then Billy got killed which absolutely destroyed her. She realized she had been in love with him at one time and knew that he still loved her when he died. She was adrift. 

When Steve offered her the job with 5-0 she had grabbed it with both hands because she didn’t know what else to do. She was grief stricken and she thought that the love they had for each other would be enough to get her through. 

But the longer she was on dry land and the longer she was with him, she realized that while she loved Steve McGarrett with all her heart, she wasn’t IN love with him, and he wasn’t in love with her. He loved her. He treasured her. She knew she was important to him, and she knew that she had hurt him badly by not returning to Hawaii. But she knew it was the right decision for both of them.

She needed to let him go so that he could try and find true love and his destiny. Because she really thought she had found her own destiny and she no longer believed in true love.

When she was able to recover Najib from the Taliban and return him to his family, for the first time in forever she felt a sense of accomplishment. SHE had done this. On her own. Not a team activity like with 5-0 or the Navy. She had set her mind to it and made it happen.

When Najib’s father and the other men and women in the village approached her with their idea to create a school, she knew that she could make that happen as well. But, she would have to stay. She wanted to stay. She wanted to continue to feel that sense of accomplishment; that sense that her training and her skills were making something good happen in the world and that these children that she was teaching were going to be the future, and she was going to have a hand in forming that future. 

Catherine knew from the time that she had decided on a career in the Navy that she was probably never going to be a mother, but now she had a village of children who depended on her and looked up to her. She was starting to find her sense of self-worth again, and she wasn’t going to give that up.

So she had called Steve McGarrett and she had said those words to him. She wasn’t coming back. He shouldn’t wait for her. She set him free. With love.


End file.
